Needle and Thread
by Hyperbali
Summary: Caelie Shepard is learning to adapt with a galaxy that spent two years getting on without her. Thankfully, even in her dire way of life, there are those who seek for her success.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: ****Thane, Shepard and Mass Effect series (c) BioWare.**

**Short first chapter, will pick up later on.  
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**Please enjoy!**

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"Funny thing."

Thane Krios looked up from the desk he'd been focusing on so intently for the past few minutes; this was a ruse, of course. The dimly lit office in one of the numerous buildings of Illium was not unique, he'd seen many rooms similar to it—though it carried a certain sort of intrigue and charm. He found it to be a fitting environment for its chief occupant. Clasping his hands loosely behind his back, the drell shifted his weight to show her she had his attention.

Even with the subtle sign, she made no move to hurry. The human woman took a long drag off her cigarette—clove, a zest of lemon permeating the smoke—and crossed her arms, her back turned towards him. He noted her body language; she was tense, clutching her hands into fists to keep them from shaking.

"With humans, you meet someone utterly abhorrent, you can rest easy knowing their life is short." Even with their translators working, he could tell her accent was thicker than usual for most of her kind. If he had to describe it, he'd say it was almost batarian-like. She flicked a lock of hair behind her ear and took another drag, but still did not turn to face him. "Asari are different. They are among the longest-lived, and deem to hold that as a superiority over the rest of us." The woman dug her cigarette into an ashtray on the desk and paused, waiting for him to respond. When he did not, she suddenly whipped around and fixed a harried glare on him.

She was quite attractive, for a human; cropped auburn hair framed a pretty face lined with age and exhaustion. Her hazel eyes, which he imagined probably shone with her smiles earlier in life, were hardened and cold. This was a woman who'd seen a lot of hardship, experienced much pain—her enviable position in a high-ranking corporation had not come easily.

"Which is why I've hired you," she said, her intensity bubbling just under the surface. Ah, out came the reason for his presence. "She isn't just an arrogant bitch, she manipulates people cruelly in countless ways; my sister was among them." The woman stopped a moment to take a deep breath; she probably hoped he had not noticed the way her entire body had begun to tremble with anger and trepidation. They both knew the attempt was useless. "My sister is dead. This job may help my company, but I'm not going to lie to you; this is _very_ personal."

She strode forward with purpose, slamming a fist onto the shelving between them. While the bits and bobbles resting on it shook from the force, they weren't greatly affected, and neither was he. The show of aggression was mostly just for her own sake, a way for her to express some kind of power over the situation. He could not blame her for these things. The fact she'd resorted to calling him in, even at the danger of losing her job, was telling enough.

"I don't care how long it takes. I don't care how high the price—Nassana Dantius _needs_ to _die_. You make sure that happens, Mr. Krios, and I swear you will want of nothing for the rest of your days." He was too well-trained, too much in control of himself to let out a derisive snort, much as what she'd said begged for it. While her story was rare, her demands were not. Of course money was of no consequence. She'd meant to hire the very best, thus she'd sought him out. A person in want of quality over quantity probably didn't much care about what it took.

"That is already the case, Ms. Teaghan." His voice rumbled quietly as he dusted a nonexistent speck of dust from his leather coat; the action was more of a conscious effort than any sort of idleness on his part. For the most part, he kept himself still even as she paced the room, exuding an air of calm and careful ease. "But I will accept your offer."

"Grand." Sounding less than enthusiastic, she retreated back behind her desk and picked up a picture frame. Their eyes caught, and she hesitated; technically their contract was made and he had no obligation to stay longer, but she seemed to want something more. He gave a small nod to encourage her, which she responded to with a gruff sigh and a mutter. "Don't know why I'm even bothering," he heard her grumble, but he chose to ignore it when she proceeded to walk back towards him. She stopped only a few steps away; it was the closest they had come to each other since she first made contact with him. Her hands tapped impatiently against the back of the frame before she turned it so he could see the holograph it held.

There were two very young women pictured; the taller and older of the two he immediately recognized as his new employer. He'd been right about her eyes—in the holo, she was innocent with a coy smile, her youth unfettered by the rules and complications of her adult life. Still, her happiness could not hold a candle to the girl standing at her side. While Ms. Teaghan seemed to have always kept a noble and proper quality about her, the younger sister held an unbridled passion with just a touch of wildness. He could see how her loss had such a profound effect on the woman.

"We were only a few years apart, but she was like my own child." Ms. Teaghan turned the frame back around, her fingertips tracing a faint circle around her sister's face. "Our parents' arguments kept us apart for so long—and when we finally began to connect…we were forcibly cut off." She spoke with a kind of reverence, the barest hints of tenderness sneaking into her voice. "She grew into a strong and able woman; she did things people could never even dream to attempt. A beacon of hope in a dark universe." With some effort, she placed the frame back on the desk; he watched as she curled her hand tightly against herself and moved to the window. "And all too soon, that light was snuffed. I…will not insult your intelligence by daring to suggest I'm not bitter about that."

Thane waited a moment before joining her at the window. They stood together and watched the sunset between the skyscrapers on the horizon—or at least, they pretended to. She had already told him far more than she'd probably told anyone in years; it would not be unexpected for her to raise her walls back up and shut him out. The woman clasped her hands at her front and let out a light sigh, the sound puncturing the somewhat uncomfortable silence.

"Dantius was not directly responsible. Greater things stole Caelie's life. But that asari—she _used_ my sister for her own selfish gain, then had the gall to rub it in her face afterward. She played her like a card; _no one_ uses my family like that and expects to continue without consequences." If she thought he did not understand the human turn of phrase, she made no attempt to explain it; pinching at the bridge of her nose, she turned and sat down at her desk after having stood for the better part of their meeting. "I was not there for my sister when she needed me. It is all I can do to enact this small revenge, if not to settle my nerves, then to honor her memory."

He felt a slight drop in his stomach at her words; he understood more than she would ever know. He had not been there for the people he cared for when they needed him, either—and it was too late for the both of them. Hindsight was a bitter pill to swallow. Ms. Teaghan looked up at him expectantly, and for a moment he wondered if she expected him to say something, anything to ease her mind; the possibility was stopped in its tracks when she gestured to the door. Their meeting was over. Now was the time for him to deliver.

The drell nodded curtly, and she gave him a tight smile. Turning on his heel, he quietly exited the room, leaving his employer alone with her thoughts. He did not expect to see her again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: ****Thane, Shepard and Mass Effect series (c) BioWare.**

**For those who were curious: Caelie Shepard is a Colonist/Sole Survivor/Paragon.**

**This will be a bit unique in that perspective will be switched every other chapter. So yes, it will be Thane's perspective for the Dantius mission next.**

**Please enjoy!**

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"…Mander."

The room tilted and swirled for a long moment, light from the fish tank casting an eerie blue glow over everything. Caelie Shepard's eyes narrowed and flinched in a bid to focus, without much success; she could feel tiny muscles twitching behind her sockets from the effort. Such an ability, to notice the tiniest nuances in her own body's functions, was highly unnerving. Nothing nice to think about at all.

"Commander."

A gloved hand reached up and pinched at the bridge of her nose, soliciting a small groan. A raging migraine still throbbed along in her head, despite what must have been a several-hour nap. Obviously taking a few aspirin pills had done absolutely nothing to help her condition, or her mood; the implanted cybernetics had rendered them useless. What a cruel side effect of her 'new' body. She was arguably doomed to take morphine for a decent night's sleep for the rest of her days, however numbered those might be.

"_Commander_."

"_Yes_, EDI," she answered irritably, rubbing at her twitching eye. For a moment, she reflected on the first Normandy and felt a bitter tug at her chest. Back then there was no AI to chime in at inopportune moments, no constant reminders of what airlock was ajar or what bathroom was on which side of the ship. Briefly she entertained the notion of messing with the wires in the core, and knew all at once exactly what Joker had been complaining about since they started out on the mission. It was easy to sympathize.

"We will be arriving at Illium within the hour. You told me to warn you ahead of time."

"Right…right." Caelie pushed herself to sit up on the edge of the bed, taking a few seconds to clutch at her forehead again. "Tell…ah, mmph…tell Garrus and…Jack. Tell them to meet me in the CIC when we're ten minutes out. Ah…and EDI?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"Ouch…goddamn…let Dr. Chakwas know I'll be in the medbay soon for a few stimpaks and extra medigel." She felt another pang, like electricity jolting across her brain, and shuddered. "Tell her to have some morphine ready."

"Of course."

At least there was one thing to be said for the new AI; it—she—knew how to take orders and get things done without much question. Unflinching loyalty from artificial intelligence provided by a corporation that had done little to get on her good side, save for raising her from the dead, of course. The utter absurdity of the situation induced her into laughing for a solid two minutes, though most of it had been less sincere amusement and more nervous hysterics. When it ended, she made herself stand, swearing quietly under her breath. Hell of a life she was leading.

Several minutes were spent simply pacing the room, gathering what she knew she would need for the mission; a thermal jumpsuit, various pieces of her armor. Admittedly she might have been stalling more than a little, but the point was to get her head on straight before her team could see their commander under such duress. Expectations were mounted high; she was the rock, the pillar of strength, the mighty warrior charged with shouldering the galaxy on her back with nary an emotion betrayed. An urge to collapse back on the bed overcame her; she avoided it by leaning heavily against the panels of her dresser with a soft groan.

"Hell of a thing," she mumbled quietly to herself, stripping away her casual fatigues. Her eyes slid out of focus as another sharp pang struck at the center of her forehead. Shepard gripped at the panels, tilting her head back to rest on the dresser. An all-too-familiar energy pulsed along her arms; her clenched fists began to ebb and flow with a faint blue light.

"ETA forty-five minutes to Illium, Commander."

Her head snapped back up to attention, and she became acutely aware that she was still nude, leaning heavily into the wall with no sign of movement. Perhaps EDI had noticed her lack of motion, or detected the sudden rise in biotic power. Either way, the interruption had been just what she needed--but the invasion of her privacy remained unappreciated. With another string of curses, she leaned down to grab at her jumpsuit, quickly dressing herself.

"_Thank you_, EDI," she hissed at the glowing blue orb in the corner of the room, the tiniest hint of gratitude hidden in her terse voice. Running a hand through her hair, she let out a short sigh before grabbing her armor and slinging the pieces over her shoulder. Her legs double-timed it to the elevator; her little loss of self-control had served to show just how much she needed to hit the medbay before they landed planet-side. Had any of her squad been under the same strain, she would have forced them to remain on the ship and recover--not only for their own safety, but for the safety of their teammates. An agonized biotic was extremely dangerous in combat and often turned out to be a greater handicap than help in the long run.

Such thoughts plagued her mind, and she mulled over them in silence while the elevator made its way down to the third deck of the Normandy. When the door opened, she took a deep breath in preparation and stepped into the hallway, taking two sharp turns to the left. Her steps to the medical bay were hurried, though she spared a moment to wave at Mass Sergeant Gardner across the room. She nearly let out a relieved cry when she reached the entrance, feeling sure she could find a temporary reprieve from her migraine.

"--and it's a little stiff, but I can move alright on the field." Jacob paused in his conversation with the doctor, glancing up at the soft hiss of the door. Almost immediately he was up on his feet, snapping to attention. "Commander." He hesitated a moment, probably noticing her crestfallen expression. "I heard we'll be docking on Illium soon--do you need me to suit up?"

"No," she huffed, leaning her shoulder against the doorway. In any other circumstance she would have been far more polite and genial, but the migraine was too painful and the Cerberus logo emblazoned on his chest was not helping matters. "I've already sent down warnings for Garrus and Jack to get ready. And--" She held up a hand to stop him, seeing the soldier about to interrupt her--most likely to protest the call for the notorious Subject Zero. "That decision is final. Garrus can handle it if things get out of hand. Go ahead to the crew quarters and get some rest. Need to get that--what was it, your knee?--healed up before I drag you back into the fight."

Jacob seemed conflicted; while she was sure he wanted to be at her back, her attention to his injury was flattering. He settled for a curt nod and made his way to the door. His hand settled on her shoulder for a moment, his eyes flitting over her face--she felt uncomfortable, like she was being studied.

"I'll be here if you need me, Shepard." He clapped her shoulder once for emphasis and exited the room. When he was gone, she let out a derisive snort; it sounded much more believable and welcome when Garrus said it.

"In a bit of a mood, Commander?" Doctor Chakwas ribbed her a little, giving her a sympathetic smile. They'd been working together for far too long for anything to get by the older woman, which Caelie was both exasperated and soothed by. Not many people held that sort of understanding with her--she wouldn't _let_ that many people have it--but Chakwas knew how to handle her, for the most part. "From the way your eyebrows are knit and the cold sweat on your cheek, I would say you're hiding quite a bit of pain there."

Shepard dropped her armor to the floor and half-stumbled across the room, sitting down hard on an examination table. A low groan passed her lips as she dropped her head in her hands.

"Quite a bit. Ha. Hahahaha. That's funny, Chakwas. That's...oh." She paused a moment, feeling bile rise at the back of her throat. A few seconds were spent trying to force it back down, accompanied by little utterings of 'hrrk' and 'oh hell'; to be frank, she was utterly disgusted by herself, but far too ill-feeling to do much about it. "You could, ah, say something like that. Yes."

A soft hand slid up her back to grip at the nape of her neck, fingers gently but firmly kneading her skin. Her shoulders went completely tense, her biotics flaring across her entire body as another twinge wracked her head. She swore again--doing that altogether too much in one day--before nearly collapsing on the table. The doctor continued to rub at her neck, sifting through a medical kit with her free hand. She knew exactly what she was doing; there was no doubt she'd dealt with damaged biotic soldiers before, but it didn't stop Shepard from being perturbed.

"Your biotics are acting up," she said resolutely. When she was met with a roll of the commander's eyes, she lightly shoved on her shoulder. "Hush now, hear me out. I remember they were never this bad on the last Normandy. Matter of fact, I've noticed your symptoms have been getting progressively _worse_ ever since Cerberus woke you up." Chakwas circled the younger woman and grabbed onto her chin, shining a small light into her eyes. "Pupils are dilated. Can barely see the green. Bags under your eyes, not getting much sleep, I'd wager." She paused, giving her a concerned look. "Nightmares?"

"And the headaches," Shepard mumbled, not-so-subtly avoiding the question. "You suppose it's the new implants they shoved into me?"

"Hard to say, but they're probably a part of the problem." The doctor tapped against a freckled cheek, prompting Caelie to involuntarily flinch. "You're far more on edge than you used to be. Distracted. More...drawn in." She pulled back and sighed, tapping something into her omnitool. "Were it my choice, I'd prefer to ground you to the ship until I figure out what's going on. However, as time is of the essence..." Her hands retrieved two syringes from the kit, one filled with morphine, the other with a stimulant isolated from a medigel pack. "Just don't make this a habit, Commander. We don't need you developing an addiction through all of this."

"Better living through chemistry," the younger woman mused, reaching for the syringes. Chakwas pulled them away and grasped her arm, rolling up one of the tight sleeves of her jumpsuit. She scoffed and shivered a little, flexing her fingers when she felt a cold touch at the indent of her elbow. "And I used to pride myself on getting by with nothing but hearty sausages and mild asari liquor."

"Times change," Chakwas muttered with a wistful smile. "You know that better than just about anyone." She tapped the syringe and took the protective cap from the needle, pressing the plunger and squeezing a bit of morphine out. "Granted that wasn't by choice, but you've always proven yourself to be innovative. Adapting to any and all situations...that's our Shepard, alright." Grasping the young woman's arm securely, she slid the needle into her vein and injected the drug. "Speaking of...I heard about what happened on Horizon." Her eyes flicked up to study Shepard's face. "How was Williams?"

Caelie flinched again, though she tried to pass it off as a reaction to the feeling of morphine rushing into her bloodstream. She'd spent much of the past few days trying to ignore what had happened, for the sake of the mission--but it would have been a lie to say it hadn't left her shaken. The two of them, Ashley Williams and Caelie Shepard--thick as thieves in the old days. They'd been thrown into the same crazy situation haphazardly, and they disagreed on plenty, but uncomfortable interactions had given way to a strong sisterhood. In the end, it had been like they'd known each other for years. But after Horizon, she didn't know where they stood anymore. Ashley had looked at her like she was--like she was _scum_, like she'd intentionally signed up with Cerberus and gone down that dangerous road because she wanted to.

_You know me better than that!_ she'd wanted to scream. Nothing would have been better in that moment than taking _Operations Chief_ Williams by the shoulders and shaking her around while she shouted in indignation. _I told you what they did to my company! You saw first-hand what they did to other humans! Who else is more adamant about alien-human relations than me?! You know me, Ashley! **You know me**!_ But instead, she'd let the woman go--and practically ripped the Illusive Man a new one when they'd returned to the Normandy.

"She was...good." She looked up and gave a tight-lipped smile, one that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Healthy. Got promoted. Seemed like she was doing well..." She flinched again as the second syringe pressed into her arm, sending the stimulant into her vein. "I asked if she wanted to join back up with us, but...well. Maybe it's better this way, you know? Bad enough I sucked Garrus back into our crazy crew...and Tali's among the new dossiers, too..." Her fingers flexed when Chakwas let go of her arm, and she grabbed at her bum shoulder to rotate it with a wince.

"There are still plenty of us who'll jump into the fire for you any time, Shepard. Never forget that." The doctor backed away, depositing the used needles into a secure box. "How do you feel, is that any better?"

"Yeah...much, thanks. I think I'll be able to grab one of our recruits before I need another rest." Caelie grabbed her armor and dragged it over, suiting herself up. Time was ticking, she had a mission to carry through.

"What I find absolutely alarming about that is you used to insist on going entire weeks between check-ups--we used to have to force you back to the Normandy for down-time." Dr. Chakwas retreated to her desk and sat down, though she never took her eyes away from the commander. "But I agree that you should return right after you pick up the first of them. I'd like to find the cause of your biotic flares before we get into anything more dangerous."

"Didn't you know? Danger is our way of life. We should probably paint it in parentheses right under 'Normandy'. Or better yet, on top of the Cerberus logo." She let out a sharp laugh as she stood from the table, securing her gauntlets on her arms. Her armor made a few clanking noises as she hopped in place for a moment, getting her blood flowing; the drugs were already kicking in. She still didn't feel entirely like herself, but it would have to do. "Wish I could freshen up my make-up before we land, though. I hear Illium's a pretty classy planet," she joked.

They shared a laugh quite briefly, but soon enough it was back to business. Jack and Garrus would be waiting for her. Shepard took another moment to breathe deeply, willing herself to focus. The pain was dulling, and hopefully wouldn't be an issue by the time combat started up--which it somehow always did, no matter how innocuous the mission. She chuckled and headed for the door.

"Wait--Commander."

"Hmm? What is it, Doctor?"

Chakwas hesitated, lowering her hand back down to the desk. She seemed to be careful with her words, almost like she was afraid or unsure of what to say. Finally she settled for a harried sigh and looked up at her, eyebrows furrowed.

"Just...be careful out there. I don't think we could handle another two years without you."

Shepard's stoic resolve broke for a moment, and she stared back at the seated woman in silence. It would have been appropriate to go back and hug her, or assure her that everything would be fine--but she could do neither, because there was no time and she couldn't guarantee anything. She smirked and raised one shoulder in a shrug.

"I'll grab another bottle of Serrice Ice while I'm out. Figure I might as well treat you if I'm going to make you take care of me." Her hand raised in farewell as she turned and left the room. Her mind quickly switched into commander mode; Garrus would have grabbed her weapons, Jack was itching for an excuse to work out some aggression. She probably would have taken Grunt along for the same reason, but she had a feeling the first recruit would require a bit of negotiation on her part. If worse came to worse, she could more easily subdue a pissed-off biotic than a raging krogan in the midst of what she hoped was not developing blood rage.

When the elevator opened to the Combat Information Center, she strode out in confidence, her migraine gone--or at least subdued enough to not effect her. She was Commander Shepard, survivor of the worst kind of odds, and damned be the galaxy if she was going to let a stupid little headache get the best of her. Garrus was already packing his weapons, and they shared a nod of greeting. He had been mercifully quiet ever since Horizon; she knew he was probably awfully curious of what was going through her mind, but he was aware enough of her duress that he felt no need to bring anything up.

Jack, on the other hand, was a bundle of nerves. She was constantly moving, checking on her shotgun or letting her hands glow for a few seconds every now and then. It was such a stark contrast to the somewhat calm intensity she held in her hideaway. Shepard felt somewhat guilty--it probably got pretty lonely down there, and loud--but Jack seemed to be fine with it. That, and the prospect of a fight left her in high spirits. The woman smirked at her, rolling her shoulders and lightly punching a fist against the panel of the galaxy map.

"Let's get a move on, huh? Whatever hapless idiot we're tracking down isn't gonna wait around all day."

Caelie nodded and motioned for the both of them to head for the boarding area. She took a moment to check on her messages--more junk mail, fantastic--and muttered a quiet hello to Kelly, who returned it with all too much perkiness. Her affairs in order, she moved to join her squad at the doors.

"Wait--Shepard, wait!"

She turned back to see Miranda hurrying out of the open elevator; the operative looked like she'd sprinted the way up from her office just to catch the commander. She sighed and crossed her arms, irritated by yet another interruption, but stayed back and waited. The taller woman halted before her and took a moment to catch her breath. She lifted her head and fixed Shepard with her familiar cold stare; did she really have to deal with this right now?

"Shepard, we're...landing on Illium."

"Yes, _Operative Lawson_. We are." She could almost swear she saw a flinch in Miranda's expression for a moment, but it was gone as quick as it had come. While they had been talking long enough for Caelie to be comfortable with referring to her on a first-name basis, the fiasco of Horizon and the Illusive Man's blatant disregard of respect and common decency had sent them back to square one. In that moment, there was no trust for Cerberus. She could barely stand being on the ship as it was.

"Listen, I know that you must not be happy with everything that's going on. I understand that." An indignant snort interrupted her, but she pressed on. "But--I--I know you don't have any obligation to help me, but--please. I asked for your help because I truly need it. My sister needs me, Shepard, and we don't have much time--" Shepard shushed her with a short wave of the hand. She glared at Miranda for a moment before her expression softened.

"I made you a promise. When I make promises, I intend to keep them. I know what it's like to lose a sister, Lawson--I don't intend for you to have to go through that. But realize I'm doing this for the sake of an innocent, not you." She roughly prodded a finger against Miranda's bare clavicle, forcing the woman back a step or two. "And I don't appreciate it when a _subordinate_ tries to tell me what to do or where to go. We'll save Oriana. But I have more pressing needs to take care of first."

"...Of course, Commander." The woman seemed as if she wanted to say more, but apparently decided to keep her mouth shut, as she turned and was gone in the elevator once more. Shepard stood quietly for a moment, staring at the closed doors as she felt a pressure on her chest. Her eyes downcast in guilt; it had been a little cruel, but she'd meant every word of it.

"Oi, Shepard! Let's go, we're getting old over here!"

"Now arriving on Illium."

Caelie Shepard puffed out her chest and headed for the doors, joining her squad. They gathered in silence as the Normandy landed, then stepped out into the subdued light of the landing bay. She squinted her eyes and looked out over the landscape; the skyscrapers and passing shuttles left her in a quiet state of awe. After a moment of taking in the sights, she grinned back at Garrus and Jack, settling into her role as their commanding officer.

"Well, lady and gentleman," she spread one arm out to the walkway before them. "Welcome to Illium."


End file.
